Mythic Ravenloft – scene 2

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Starting a Mythic session is always the hardest. Use the props you have already created: the characters, the setting, the NPCs, the threads. Then begin.

The forest path was visible in the snow only because it represented a gap between the trees. Ernat led them forward keeping to the widest part, trusting that this was the road. There were no other tracks. No marks of any kind to indicate that civilisation resided at either end of the track, though the path was wide enough for a wagon. Snow lay thick on the track and between the trees. The mighty pines bowed beneath the weight on their boughs. Occasionally they heard a thump as a clump of snow fell, but otherwise the forest was as still as the grave.

Ernat, Jurisco, Dide, Albergio, Eduare and Gari had been on the track for close to five hours now, wending ever upward into the geographically impossible forest. Around midday a thick cloying mist had enveloped them, reducing their visibility to only a few yards and slowing their pace to an endless-seeming deliberate walk. The horses heaved in the thinning air, as did the men, their breaths wreathing their heads like wraiths.

A deserted road through a high pass to a village could mean one of two things. It could mean that soldiers had been here before and destroyed everything and there was no life at the other end. The other possibility was that this was a forgotten community, untouched by the war, ripe for plundering and rapine.

A gateway loomed ahead. ‘Jutting from the impenetrable woods on both sides of the road, high stone buttresses loom up grey in the fog. Huge iron gates hang on the stonework. Dew clings with cold tenacity to the rusted bars. Two statues of armed guardians silently flank the gate. Their heads, missing from their shoulders, now lie among the weeds (and in the snow drift) at their feet.’ [Gate open? Likely. Yes.] The gates were open.

[Dide recognise the art/period? No way. No.] “It’s all Greek to me,” said Dide. “The carvings are unusual.” [Dide ever been to Bohemia or Transylvania? Very unlikely. Critical no.]

“Does that mean you don’t recognise them?” said Jurisco.

“No,” said Dide. “I’m saying that the carvings are Greek. Quite ancient. But meaningless. Come on. It’s as cold as a witch’s tit out here.”

They continued through the gates and soon lost sight of them as the path twisted away. Soon, without being fully aware of the transition, they found themselves in an open area. Trees no longer pressed in on the sides of the path and sense of expansiveness filled them. Strangely, this made them even more nervous and they faltered and clustered together. As if on cue a wind picked up and blew into their faces, gradually clearing the choking mist and giving them a view of the valley ahead.

A crazy, impossible, shear faced mountain loomed up in the near distance. It glittered in the growing twilight. Reflections were thrown from high ice shelves. Near the top, perched like some ridiculous woodcut of a German fantasy castle, sat a structure that defied rational architecture. It had spindly towers and spider web walkways. The party stared in awed silence for several minutes before Eduare broke the spell by speaking.

“I’ve seen better,” he said.

The bitter wind dropped a little and changed in texture. It became more solid, and wet. Sleet stung their faces. It got into the gaps around their necks and sleaves.

“I see a light,” Ernat pointed ahead.

Darkness was falling fast. Wolf howls seemed unpleasantly close. They spurred their worn out horses into ragged canters as the last light disappeared and the sleeting changed into heavy consistent snowing.

The first building they came to [Ravenloft randoms, 8 diamonds/5 diamonds] was an impressive stone structure with a black pool in the centre. It was obviously ancient, with classical pillars flanking the doorway.

“Roman baths,” said Dide.

The entrance was clear and trampled down. Moment by moment the falling snow coloured the muddy entrance, erasing the signal that the building was still in use. But no light shone from its portals, and Jurisco had an uneasy feeling about the place, so they keep going.

The next building [Ravenloft randoms, King spades/Ace clubs] was a destroyed schloss, an older castle, now reduced to rubble. As they picked their way through the wreck Ernat [25% chance to see who would notice] noticed that some of the rooms seemed more intact than others. Some seemed to have more flooring left [Ravenloft randoms, 10 Hearts] and he made a mental note to come back some time and see what was underneath.

At last they arrived outside what they took to be a public house threw open the doors. It was warm inside, and there was the smell of food of some kind. And thin beer.

“Well, well,” said Jurisco as he eyed the scene and clasped his crucifix, “what nest of heretics have we found here?”

**Just remembered that they have not lit their matches and primed their arkebuses. They are therefore armed only with their melee weapons, which will be longswords for the fighters, a warhammer of some sort for Jurisco, daggers for Dide, and a shorter style Italian stabbing sword for Ernat.

Good question. Do they have match cord for their matchlock carbines? [A sure thing, Yes.]

Open threads:
* Dide has critically not been to the eastern empire. What does that mean? (New character discovery: Dide does not like to appear ignorant. While he knows a lot of stuff if he does not know he just makes it up as he knows the others know no better.)
* What is the story with the mysteriously used Roman baths.
* What is the story with the destroyed schloss.
* What is beneath the floorboards at the schloss.
* Where are they that there can be high lands and coniferous forests in Flanders.
* Where have all the other travellers gone.
* What does Albergio’s dream mean.
* Will Eduare become a king and where is all this wine coming from.
* From where will the party get food and drink.
* Will the horses get fed before they die of starvation.
* Is Dide serious about cannibalism or is he just being an asshole as usual.

Mythic Ravenloft – Scene 1

Ernat, Jurisco, Albergio, Dide, Eduare and Gari headed away from the siege lines around Breda at dawn. Heading East, they cut through the trench works, stepping over, through and around the corpses and filth. By nine they were clear, and the countryside opened up to them like a festering sore. All of the structures within sight were smouldering ruins. Fields were burnt bare and untended. Broken wagons and bodies choked the ditches. A patrol stopped them at some point but they gave the daily password and were allowed to proceed. The sky was a consistent oppressive grey that threatened rain.

As the day wore on they saw increasingly fewer other travellers and none worth molesting. Hunger gnawed at them as Albergio rationed out wood-hard chucks of bread and slivers of fat bacon. Dide declared that he was considering cooking and eating the next woman he found after having finished the other business with her. They broke into squabbling about which was worse: the first or the second of those propositions, or the two combined. Dide tormented them for a couple of hours about how he had heard that human flesh tasted like pork, and then proceeded to describe recipes for suckling pig.

During the mid afternoon on a long deserted stretch of road they came to a turnoff that headed to the North East while the main road continued on East. Gibbets swung chain-squeaking. Crows squawked while the skeletons’ empty eye sockets watched the party as they rested. (Mythic random event – Carry, A prison). A mouldy sign pointed up the new road said, Barovia.

No one had heard of this town, but this did not trouble them. Places in this cursed heretic land all sounded the same. All had guttural coughing sounds, not at all like poetic flowing Spanish: truly the language of angels. For want of any better ideas they took the side road. One village to pillage was much like another, they reasoned.

Almost immediately they felt the land starting to rise. A miasmal mist seemed to settle behind them, obscuring the lands to the south and this seemed to cheer them as they forged ahead. They felt as if they were rising out of the swampy lowlands. Yes: high ground would be good to clear the lungs.

As night started to fall a river barred their path. A narrow bridge crossed the sluggish, icy flow. Ahead the land appeared to rise more steeply and a mighty forest stretched to the horizon to left and right. Ernat asked Dide if he knew the name of the forest but the magic user did not. They scratched their heads in mutual confusion. Flanders was a flat land next to the sea. What was something that was looking suspiciously like the foothills of mountains doing here? Had they come too far and were on the borders of Denmark? Impossible.

They set up camp around the base of the bridge, ready to extract a toll from anyone who wanted to cross, but they saw no one. The horses were hobbled but otherwise allowed to wander around to get what fodder they could. Their ribs were clearly visible, as were their riders’. The night passed uneventfully, interrupted only by the distant sound of wolves and the troubled dream-filled sleep of Albergio. He woke and was quiet and clearly disturbed. When pressed by Ernat, Albergio described a dream in which his father was weeping in a church (found in a random dream generator: www.gregorwright.com/memes/dream). Jurisco pats him on the shoulder and offers to hear his confession but Albergio declines. Not wanting to miss out on the attention, Eduare declared that he had a vision in the night in which the Virgin Mary came to him and declared that the other party members would make him king and give him all of their wine.

A cold draught spilled down from the tree line as the party saddled up and headed across the bridge and up into the darkened, forbidding forest.

Open threads:
* Where are they that there can be high lands and coniferous forests in Flanders.
* Where have all the other travellers gone.
* What does Albergio’s dream mean.
* Will Eduare become a king and where is all this wine coming from.
* From where will the party get food and drink.
* Will the horses get fed before they die of starvation.
* Is Dide serious about cannibalism or is he just being an asshole as usual.

Mythic Ravenloft – randoms

Click here for a few textures for use in the coming story: Ravenloft randoms

Another thing that has just occured to me is the unlikely nature of the Strahd zombies. It seems unlikely that these are the very same zombified palace guards from ‘centuries ago’. They would have been destroyed or fallen apart by now.  Skeletons, maybe.

Yet they are there.

I say that the zombies come from one or both of the following sources.

1) the desicated corpses left by Strahd’s feeding

2) since Europe is a carnal house the gypsys are bringing the bodies of fallen soldiers from the battlefields for reanimation.

No. Wait. Hang on. The source material says that Strahd reanimated the zombies ages ago using dark magic that even he has now forgotten. What’s the story with that? If he is a dedicated magic user how is it possible that he could have lost interest in and have forgotten how to do something inherently as useful as animate corpses?

That’s fishy. That’s a thread: how and why did Strahd ‘forget’ this magic.

Moreover, it means that there is a limited number of these things. How many? Calculate.

Mythic Ravenloft – GM notes for a GMless game

Whenever I start thinking about fantasy worlds I pretty soon start to question the economy. This is not always the literal economy of money. What I mean is the general sense of how things fit together.

The classic example of a badly thought out ‘economy’ is the big monster in a room at the bottom of a dungeon. What does it eat? Where does it crap? How come it hasn’t died of some disease caused by the cramped conditions, filth and lack of sunlight? How did it even get in the room in the first place? Why doesn’t it leave if it can get out of the room. And if the trite answer is ‘it eats dwarfs that come down the corridor’, then you have to follow up with: how many dwarfs does this thing need to eat and how often.  And then: how come the dwarfs are so stupid that they keep coming down this deathtrap corridor. That kind of stuff irritates me until I make up an answer that works. Magic is the excuse of the intellectually lazy.

So now I have this thing by Tracy and Laura about this town and micro population that has been isolated for centuries, no less, until a message was sent out just the other day for these adventurers to come in and, well, do bugger all except kill the summoner really.

But that’s not a problem. Mythic will solve this for me. The real problem is the biological and social economy. If we are to believe the time and physical dimensions of the place then we must be looking at a community of inbred deformed predominantly infertile mutants. Two questions have to be answered since we do have this community and those are the conditions.

Biological. Centuries of inbreeding.

1) This must be only partially true or the community would have died out.  I believe the minimum number for biological diversity is around 2000 individuals and there is no hint that there are that many people in this kingdom. There must be periodic influxes of ‘new blood’. So here is what happens: the Gypsys steal babies and women and deliver them to the village. (Important note – these are the gypsies described in the game. I’m not trying to say anything racsist about a genuine group).

2) Deformities and mutations will be in evidence. The characters might interpret this as a sign of some demonic presense. Whenever the characters meet a citizen, make a roll to see if they are deformed, and if so what deformity they have. As ‘new blood’ themselves, they may well be ‘popular’.

Social. Centuries of isolation.

1) Strahd is a vampire. Vampires prey on humans. These people are his food stock. He breeds them like rabbits. What effect does this knowledge have on the villagers? Resignation, docility, petty rebellion, submission, anger, punishment of those who speak out? Any or all or these and more? I don’t know yet. The very important thing to remember though is that these people have been incarcerated their entire lives, watching family members dissappear to feed the vampire. The image of the angry villagers storming the castle, unless something really catastrophic is going on, strikes me as being incredibly unlikely. If they rise up it is the major event of their history. Nothing is bigger. Anyone who is rebelling is not ‘the last holdout who remembers the old days’, they are young firebrands who have not learned the hard way. Alternately they are the very old who have lost everything and see nothing left to loses. Certainly none of them will have a credible plan or even a conception of what freedom would mean. Use the rabbit metaphor.

2) Since the gypsys go out into the world to steal babies and women, they must also bring back other things. Clothes, tools, news perhaps. This will all be valuable and sought after. The reverse of this is also true. Tools and clothes and attitudes of the villagers will be archaic, and patched and ramshackle. Even their language will be heavily accented and full of local words.

Mythic – Ravenloft. Big picture

This is some general information about the Mythic Ravenloft story. This idea structure was copied from an posting in the Mythic forum. The results next to each category were randomly found using the Mythic random events chart.

General theme: Adjourn – a Path. The characters are diverted from their path in time/space to this pocket universe, the demi-plane of dread. they will remain here until the curse is lifted, after which they will return to their own place. The story will end at that time. Adjournment over.

Starting region: Carelessness – a Plot. The characters have a scheme to penetrate enemy territory to skirmish and forage. However they have not made careful plans about where they are going. Ultimately they are negligent and would just as casually pillage their allies as enemies. It is this moral lapse that has caused them to be transported to the demi-plane of dread.

World negative: Neglect – Food. They are starving and desperate for food and drink. The area is a wasteland, “They make a desert, and call it peace”. Famine is everywhere. This drives them to desperate acts.

World postive: Deceive – Enemies. The despicable Protestants are stupid, the characters reason, and can be deceived. Merceneries fight for both sides. The characters have the scarves and passwords of the Spanish army, but are confident that they can pass themselves of as, say, French merceneries. More, they are confident that the enemies of Spain and the church can be deceived and defeated across the board. They have the arrogance that soldiers of every empire tend to have.

Campaign world thread: Assist – Good. The characters are nominally Lawful Good because they are Spanish and Roman Catholic and are fighting for the preservation of the Spanish Empire and for the recovery of the prestige of the one true church. However, the reality is that they are dirty, venal murderers who have little real concern for these weighty issues. They wear them like badges rather than feel them in their hearts. This campaign concerns the redemption of these souls through confrontation with genuine evil that forces them to ‘come good’.

Mythic Ravenloft – getting to know the characters

Who are these people? They are Spanish arkebusiers, medium cavalry stationed in Flanders during the 80 years war. They are currently detatched in winter quarters and are only interested in feeding themselves and recuperating before the weather improves and the campaigning season starts.

Who is the leader? (one in four chance for the main characters) Ernat the thief.

Who is Ernat Marulanda Gasco?

Thief 7; STR 7, DEX 17, CON 9, INT 13, WIS 11, CHA 15; HP 36

(Une characteristics) Established Tradesman [what trade? Don't know yet].

(Une motivations) Colaborate Vigilance [Ernat is a tactical genius, organising the other members of the party for their mutual defence. This is one of the reasons he is the leader]; Advocate Harmony [he is the peacemaker between the members of his foraging party. He can smooth over their differences. This is the other reason he is the leader]; Suppress the World [he is cynical about politics and morals. His actions are based on his own perceived need, or that of his party, rather than some abstract external force such as justice, national security, or religious conformity].

Who is Jurisco Suarez Cornejo?

Cleric 7; STR 15, DEX 11, CON 9, INT 7, WIS 17, CHA 13; HP 49.

(Une characteristics) Dependable Scrapper [Jurisco likes a fight and is not afraid of getting in one].

(Une motivations) Compose Pleasure [he writes music and/or composes poetry]; Defile Allies [he levies kontributions from friends and enemies alike. He cannot tell the difference between enemy combatants and civilians]; Seek Hate [he sees the war he is in as a just war of good against evil. He hates the Calvinists as devils on Earth].

Who is Dide Rucina Covalan?

Magic User 7; STR 11, DEX 9, CON 15, INT 17, WIS 13, CHA 7; HP 21.

(Une characteristics) Defiant Politician [Dide likes the sound of his own voice. He also likes to take a contrary view. Despite his high INT and good WIS he has a low CHA is this is reflective of this generally annoying behaviour].

(Une motivations) Communicate Gluttony [he is greedy, valuing foodstuffs above other goods. He torments the other party members by describing sumptuous dishes and recipes, especially when they are hungry]; Interact Industry [he is industrious for the party good. He does not shrink from helping out in any task for the party welfare. Despite his faults he is no slacker]; Refine Intelligence [he's a smart man, it cannot be denied. He knows a lot of stuff about a lot of things. If anyone wants to know something, Dide is who they will ask].

Who is Albergio Restrepo Mendiluce?

Fighter 7; STR 17, DEX 13, CON 15, INT 7, WIS 9, CHA 11; HP 58.

(Une characteristics) Careful Shopkeeper [Albergio is the party quartermaster. He keeps a careful watch on their provisions].

(Une motivations) Assist Criminals [Albergio goes along with the party. Let's face it: the party are foraging soldiers during some of the worst wars in history. They are bad, and Albergio just joins in]; Promote Advice [he is a supporter. If someone in the party suggests something that he likes he goes to the trouble to agree with them. He is prepared to pick a side]; Agonise Dreams [What dreams? Don't know yet - this is a good open thread ].

Who is Eduare Amor Magallanes?

Fighter 5; STR 17, DEX 13, CON 15, INT 7, WIS 9, CHA 11; HP 42.

(Une characteristics) Nefarious Clairvoyant [Eduare claims to have holy visions but he is a liar. He makes up stuff to get what he wants].

(Une motivations) Associate Discrimination [he sticks to the 'birds of a feather flock together' principle. He is in a Calvinist land (Flanders). Therefore all the people there are Calvinists (heretics)]; Encourage Stories [he likes a good story, either told by himself or someone else]; Promote Atrocities [this speaks for itself].

Who is Gari Cuervo Iguaren?

Fighter 4; STR 17, DEX 13, CON 15, INT 7, WIS 9, CHA 11; HP 34.

(Une characteristics) Dependable Labourer [Gari will do what he is told. He is not afraid of hard work].

(Une motivations) Agonize Nature [he is troubled by the religious war raging around him. While not smart enough to understand the arguments, he does undersatnd the principles and what is at stake: the immortal soul of man]; Inform Opulence [he always has his eye out for lootable things and he tells the rest of the party about them] ; Advise Narcissism [he is a toady, reminding the others how clever, handsome, rich or witty they are].

There’s the party. As random as I could make it, justified into a logical framework. I don’t think I like any of them as humans, but they do seem real. They fit the genre. They should generate interesting stories.

Mythic Ravenloft

We recently moved house. As part of that process we had to ‘de-clutter’ so that the place was attractive to the potential buyers. This basically meant that I had to empty my office/toy room. This in turn meant that my library, games and models all had to be boxed up and put in storage. Now that we are installed in the new house I am gradually opening those boxes and trying to find homes for things. This is a great time for me to trim down my collection.

It seems a crime to say that I have to get rid of some books and games, but the reality is some of this stuff was just consuming shelf space. I’d never play it, never read it again, never consider it an ‘investment’. So a lot of stuff is going. This is true for the almost complete collection of AD&D printed modules. I’d gone to great lengths to get an almost full set. Now I look at them and ask myself when I could ever play them. Collectability has gone now that WotC are giving them away as downloads. And the rest can be got from Drive-Thru RPG. Even then, when do I get a chance to role play anyway?

Well, I do. It’s called Mythic. Traditional rules based, DM’d role playing doesn’t happen any more. My group are too old and set in our ways to go back. Instead we tell each other stories using Mythic.

Then I had a brainwave. Mythic can be used solo – to create a story for myself. That’s it, I thought. I’ll run these modules for myself. I’ll use the rules and I’ll be fair and enforce the outcome using a declared rule set. I’ll use Mythic to answer questions the GM would answer. It’s not a discovery in the same way as a traditional RPG. But what the heck? From experience Mythic can produce a richer experience. This is a more comprehensive test of its solo power.

First cab off the rank: Ravenloft, considered the 2^nd best published adventure of all time. I have the 1983 version. Pre-expansions and full campaign.

So here we go. The objective is to tell a vampire story using the tools of Mythic, Ravenloft, specific other RPG tools, and my knowledge of the period.

The rules are Simple Dungeons and Dragons (check out the link in my SD&D page). These are essentially 1^st edition AD&D with the tables inverted to use the more intuitive d20 system. All monster stats remain the same except for this one change. All rules that can be found in the 1^st edition rule books (Wilderness Survival Guide and so on) are admissible.

The base setting is late Renaissance Earth – during the 80 years war (say 1620). The party are Spanish soldiers separated from the rest of their Tercio, transported to this plane of shadow (or whatever). Why? This is one of my favourite periods. I have the campaign setting A Mighty Fortress which covers this period. I am reminded of a line from Alatriste where he describes Flanders to Olivares as, ‘A land with a black sun, a heretic sun that neither warms your bones nor dries your clothes. Truly, it is hell.’ And I figured that that sounded like the sort of joint that could connect to this world easily. I have already written a novel about this period that allows for just such magical cross-overs. So it is where my head is at.

So the party consists of Roman Catholic (ergo, using this metaphor, Lawful Good – no moral ambiguity allowed) Spanish soldiers (who also conform to the classes of AD&D to make a balanced party). They have matchlock muskets but limited powder and none can be got in the cursed land in which they have found themselves. These guns have all the limitations of the real thing – so one shot, basically, before the enemy are on them. Magic works and we’ll politely brush over the details of how there can be such a thing as a Roman Catholic magic-user during the time of the Inquisition. There just is. Perhaps he is what people of the time would call a ‘Philosopher’ and in this alternate world his powers are now manifest.

The characters are:

Jurisco – 7^th level Cleric

Ernat – 7^th level Thief

Dide – 7^th level Magic User

Albergio – 7^th level Fighter

Eduare – 5^th level Fighter

Gari – 4^th level Fighter

Specific stats and personality traits to follow. That’s enough for now.

Nagar & Verwoerd vs the Grodzisks

Greg and I ran a Mythic session set in the 20’s – 30’s Planetary Romance, rockets and rayguns, retro-future. Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers in other words.

This report records more of the decisions made using the Mythic system, while still trying to retain some kind of narrative. As usual we used Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable to generate some of the big picture contextual material. We also used the Oxford Dictionary for Writers and Editors to generate names. This little baby is like a pocket Brewers: full of unrelated and entertaining snippets of information.

We, Nagar (Greg) and Verwoerd (me), were square jawed palace guards to the tyrant of Cisorium, Baron Ruthven. The baron had negotiated an arranged marriage for his daughter, princess Hygeia, to the son of King Franconi of Flamstead (pronounced ‘eed’, not ‘ed’). Franconi’s son, Consordino, and Hygeia had been on a ‘getting to know you’ meeting on the Island of Pleasures in the middle of Cisorium when forces unknown attacked and kidnapped the princess. Though Consordino survived, King Franconi was outraged and demanded that the princess be furnished for the wedding as scheduled or the alliance was off. To back this up a Flamstead fleet was dispatched, ready to launch invasion. ETA: two days.

Cisorium was typical planetary body for this setting: obscurely shaped, floating in an air filled universe. Vaguely resembling a gigantic cylinder, Cisorium’s main civilisation lived on one of the flat ends, a disc a few hundred miles across. The shaft of the cylinder was pitted with thousands of caves where the bestial Grodzisks lived. They attacked the end periodically, but were generally seen as irrelevant untermenschen. These creatures were believed to be the culprits for the abduction of the princess and therefore were responsible for the threat to the Cisorium’s liberty.

[This information was generated by a lengthy period of to and fro description. Greg and I took turns to propose the architecture of the world and the universe, the political structure and circumstances of our adventure. It all started from the central premise of kidnapped princess. We tested our impressions against each other, and if the other agreed with that image it became fact. Many elements did not come up once we were 'playing the adventure' but it was all informative background material. For example, Greg proposed that there were rumours of a Shangri La deep within Cisorium in the caves of the Grodzisks. We never followed this up, but just knowing that rumour told us something about the attitudes of the people and possibilities of the setting.]

Scene 1. Starting the mission.

So, dressed in grey and red uniforms, complete with shiny boots and jodhpurs (Greg supplementing this with a black leather jacket) – mmmm, fascist retro-future fashion – we prepared to bust a few heads for the baron. We refreshed ourselves with general knowledge about the Grodzisks.

[Do the Grodzisks really ever kidnap people? 50/50, chaos 5. Roll 49. Yes they do but it is very infrequent.]

[Has anyone ever escaped from them? 50/50, chaos 5. Yes they have - Roll 22: random event. Move away from a thread/A path.]

[The main thread we were investigating was Grodzisk abduction and escape, so we figure that this event is about that.]

A man dressed as a worker (blue overalls, Metropolis style, he even had a spanner) appeared at the door of our barracks. He claimed to have information that might help us find the princess in the Grodzisk caves because he had escaped from there himself. There was something about his behaviour that did not seem right so we pressed him for more information about this escape.

[Brewers roll gave us 'Fanning', as in: fanning a revolver to shoot fast. This is a Hollywood move, not a real one.]

So his story of over powering the creatures and shooting his way out sounded too cinematic to be real. We pushed him harder. He then told us that he was a former servant of Consordino who witnessed the abduction. Then he and everyone else were sacked and dumped in the gutter.

[Did the Grodzisks do it? No.]

I called the Secret Police to hold him for further questioning while we continued our investigation.

Scene 2. The Island of Pleasures.

The island was a volcanic plug in the middle of a water filled volcanic crater lake in the centre of the flat end of Cisorium. The inner crater walls were dotted with the mansions of the rich and famous, peeking out between the lush vegetation. The island was densely vegetated with thousands of paths that weave their way to sheltered picnic spots, secluded grottos, temples, pavilions and bathing pools. The weather was probably regulated, now that I think about it.

As we approached the central palace on our rocket cycles the radio, a hand held box on a spiral cord, informed us that we could not land there. Due to maintenance we were instructed to land behind the main hangar. Then the signal was cut off.

Landing behind the gigantic, zeppelin capable hanger, we found ourselves in field. A few hundred yards separated the jungle edge from the hanger. A ditch ran down the middle of the field. Grass grew tall, clearly mown periodically, now about knee height.

[Time for some Brewer's inspiration. To crack a bottle. meaning: party, gathering, celebration]

We noticed the remains of a picnic hamper. It was broken open and the contents strewn about as if it had been dumped, possibly from a height. As we are investigating the hamper looking for clues we heard gunfire. It was old fashioned projectile weapon gunfire. This was significant as there are detectors that can analyse energy rays and find out all about them. Bullets, however, are untraceable.

[Are we being shot at? 50/50. Critical yes. Greg has been hit. 50/50 chance.]

The bullet catches Nagar in the shoulder, spinning him round and throwing him to the mud. At the jungle’s edge a bunch of figures emerge, charging towards us, firing on the run. I hoist Nagar over my shoulder and leg it to the hangar. There I chuck him into the handy rejuvenation chamber (no place of industry should be without one). The rejuvenation chamber was similar in shape and size to a phone booth. On the outside was a rotary dial selector. Beside it was a long printed menu of options. For example, 2253 will replace lost hair. 2279 will repair cavities in teeth, and so on. I dialed 7468 – combat induced non-cauterised deep puncture wounds – and went back to the hanger doors to see what was happening.

No less than eight, five limbed creatures were crossing the field at frightening speed, shooting as they came. Bullets clanged on to the walls of the hangar.

[Were the attackers humanoid? Critical no.]

There were definietely not Grodzisks. They were Pargana, perennial pest and foe to human kind.

The rejuvenation chamber went ‘ding’ and out stepped Nagar, good as new.

Together we drew our radium pistols and calmly gunned them down before they could close.

[Here we used the basic Role Play (BRP) Opposition table after fist randomly establishing how good we were with the weapons. I had a score of 12 (from a simple d20 roll) and Greg had 13. The Pargana were good, so Greg assigned them a defense of 14. We rolled as they approached, rolled well, and put them to the slaughter.]

Scene 3. The central Palace.

It was becoming clear that the Grodzisks were being set up as patsies for the abduction. The Pargana were often employed as mercenaries, but only by disreputable regimes, for disreputable purposes. They were untrustworthy. Pargana stood roughly eight feet tall on their solid running legs. Above this they had three functional arms which allowed them to shoot, conduct melee and hold a walkie talkie all at the same time. Formidable foes indeed.

We piloted a levitating tractor up to the palace through the winding jungle paths. Externally, the palace resembled a gigantic collection of native huts with thatched roofs. Inside it was all gleaming brass and polished mahogany, stylised internally lit lotus feature windows, and triumphant archways. At first we perceived no one around.

[However, we rolled an Altered scene and got Carelessness, A plot.]

A closer look showed that there were bodies behind sofas and crammed into spaces. They had been shot and slaughtered in a variety of ways. The ‘clean up’ had been sloppy. Blood pooled in places. Most unsavory.

We made straight for the radio room where we discovered the sparkie’s body slumped over his desk. The valves  were still warm and the speakers live. We grabbed the microphone and tried to call back to base.

[Did we successfully make the call? Very likely. No!]

Someone had cut the cables to the aerial up on the roof.

Scene 4. Outside, we searched for tracks or other clues that would lead us to the where the attackers went.

[Altered scene. Altered, Release evil.]

A roar alerted us to the atack. The creature was huge: a lizard made of claws an muscle. It crashed through the jungle towards us, clearly having been left by the invading Pargana in order to patrol the area and destroy any pursuit.

I fired my radium pistol at it, but it seemed to do no good. Before we had a chance to get off more than a couple of shots it was on us, snatching Nagar up in its jaws. He shoved his pistol up its nose and blasted its brains out. Even then I had to hack with sword and the desperately injured Nagar bashed it with his electroduster. (The electroduster, or electronux, is a powered gauntlet. Violin-style tuning keys run up the arm allowing the wearer to adjust the electrical discharge, the weight of the fist, and the density of the field.)

[We used BRP to resolve the combat.]

Again fireman lifting Nagar to the tractor, I turfed him into the rejuvenation chamber back at the hangar, this time dialing 2483. In less time than it takes to reconstitute a three course meal from a food pellet Nagar was back on his feet.

Scene 5.

We searched the bodies of the pargana we had killed earlier, finiding the homing device that they used to find their ship. It was a box with flashing lights that light up when pointed in the right direction – like a silent geiger counter. We followed it till we found the parked rocket. Six pargana guards paced the perimeter.

[Altered scene. Carelessness, Outside.]

But the guards were slack and soon settled into a huddle on the far side of the clearing. We geared the tractor, dropped a brick on the accelerator and while the guards hared off after it we stole up the gangplank.

Once inside we clanged along the corridors until we found a set of interior hatch windows. Through them we could see a cargo bay with a long ramp leading to the outside. Pargana workers were wheeling up carts full of ore. We could see that they were Fire Diamonds, a rare gen caused by extreme volcanic conditions. Apparently there was a hoard on Cisorium, located underneath the Island of Pleasures. So that was what was so important. But who could have wanted it so bad that they broke up the royal wedding?

Nagar switched on his automatic camera to record the scene.

On the far side of the bay we could see a high balcony. At the balcony edge stood pricess Hygeia, her hands tied behind her back. And beside her stood none other than prince Consordino. As we watched he was talking to the princess who flinched away from the repulsive dog. The plot became clear to us. King Franconi and his son had learned of the Fire Diamond hoard and had plotted a royal alliance in order to exploit it. But when the princess had learned of the true motives Consordino had called in the mercenary lizards, kidnapped the princess himself and so had set in motion the imminent invasion of Cisorium. And he gets the princess as well. What a swine!

Before our eyes, Consordino dragged Hygeia off, and we knew that no-good was about to befall that gentle creature.

Scene 6

We dashed to the rocket control room and using our handy allen keys opened panels into the bread-board and valve wiring. We stripped a couple of wires with our useful pocket knives short circuited the controls to blow up the ship. After a moment’s thought we set up a timer for ten minutes. That should give us plenty of time to find the princess, battle the guards and escape before the rocket and the surrounding jungle are vaporised like a tiny sun with the mighty power of the atom, we figured.

[Do we set the up everything correctly? Critical no! To add spice I check my watch for real-time ten minutes. Greg and I had to start talking and acting fast to beat our own silly deadline.]

Alarms go off all over the rocket as it is detected that the wiring had been tampered with. Pargana swarm around banging and dogging blast doors, but they pay us no attention, presumably because they assumed we were part of the Flamstead military.

[Do we find the princesses stateroom? Yes, but only just.]

The metal door was bolted closed from the inside.

Nagar powered his electroduster to eleven(!) and smashed in the door. With three mighty bashes the door was thrown aside. When we stepped inside we were confronted with a blood quickening scene. Consordino held Hygeia cruelly by the wrist. She was in obvious pain. Tears welled in her eyes and worst of all her dress was ripped at the shoulder. By gum that Consordino was a cad of the highest order. It was obvious that he was in the process of forcing his attentions on that delicate creature.

Incensed with rage I jumped forward, sword in hand, but Consordino was too good for me. His own sword defeated my coarse attack and wounded me in the shoulder.

“No time for fancy stuff,” said Nagar and deftly stoved in the prince’s  skull with his still overcharged electroduster.

[Combat using BRP.]

We three sprinted to the picture windows and out onto the balcony. There we found a warm rocket cycle, which we boarded and roared away upon (precisely nine minutes and 45 seconds real time later).

Fa-boom.

Scene 7. Wrap up.

Nagar used the rocket cycle radio to contact base and report. The Flamstead fleet was called off from attack. But king Franconi insisted that Consordino was trying to negotiate the release of the princess, and was not involved in the scheme. His lies were exposed when Nagar held up his micro camera (only the size of a coffee mug) that had recorded everything to the walkie talkie and projected the recorded images to base.

Franconi was revealed as a double dealer and his son was revealed as a bounder. Strong men shook their heads and turned away when they read the news in The Times the next day.

Princess Hygeia’s virtue and person were saved, and life on Cisorium continued untroubled by general war. A great and successful mission all around.

Alien Safari character generator

Alien Safari was a role playing game that Greg and I were working on some time ago. Little work has been directly done on it, primarily because our focus has been on Mythic games in several other genres.

One of the main ideas I wanted to develop was a description of the ‘character’ as a simple mix and match of alien characteristics. I did not want a pick list of skills, in other words: I wanted a collection of cliched body types that conveyed all the information the player might need. After all, the characters were expendable. All that was neeeded was a few hooks to hang behaviour from. Insiration for this came from the Eon classic, Quirks.

This idea was brought to fruition from another source. In developing the Orbis story lines with Tony I reused the idea of infinitley variable alien forms. This was for a children’s book series so the aim was to provide humour and lots of interesting material for Tony to draw. The following table shows this mix and match body type character generator. I have also completely randomised it in a spreadsheet, but have not worked it out for dice.

Alien safari characteristics

Using this generator with whatever randomisation or selection method you like, you can create creatures such as the Toadunnock, which has the head of an amphibian such as a frog, legs which allow fast running – perhaps like a horse, and a tail that can shock. Or perhaps a Swalootind which has an unhingeable jaw to allow it to swallow things bigger than its own head, legs just like a human and a prehensile monkey tail.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

According to WikiPedia (so it must be true) the editor of Quirk Books (publisher of such titles as The Indianna Jones Handbook and How to Survive a Horror Movie), Jason Rekulak, was working his lists one day when he came up with the title. These lists consisted of classic literature whose copyrights had expired and were in the public domain on one hand, and cliched popular trophes such as ninjas, zombies, werewolves and so on on the other.

Armed with the title he called his mate Seth Grahame-Smith to write it up. After a few giggles, presumably, Seth set to work co-authoring Pride and Prejudice and Zombies along with Jane Austin – who must be pinwheeling in her grave at this moment.

The resulting book is a mash-up (a modern word that apparently means taking two incongruent and incompatible ideas and presenting them as if  they belong together) of Austin’s orginal text complete with the story and plot of the novel, interspaced with Graeme-Smith’s vision. This vision is of an alternate reality Regency period England where a zombie apocalypse has been underway for at least 55 years. For those whose conception of history is limited to who won last year’s Grand Final the Regency period ran from 1811 to 1820 during the reign of George III when he was considered too ill to rule and his son was installed as Prince Regent.

This universe is only scantily described and this is true to the original book’s intention. It is manners that are  important, and station, and love. It’s all about people. But Graeme-Smith’s vision comes through, perhaps all the more tantalisingly as a result. In true zombie tradition the undead just keep coming, and have kept coming for a very long time. Everyone takes for granted the plague that afflicts the land and has turned London into a walled city and has apparently depopulated other cities altogether. There are burning pits where captured zombies are burned ‘alive’ after being turned in by bounty hunters, or Reclaimers. Friends can be stricken with the plague and rot to death before everyone’s eyes and this is all taken as a matter of course until they must be destroyed. By beheading. In a very Christian manner.

But Austin’s work remains at the core of the story, for all its trugid, pompous self-importance. Even though Austin was a shrewd observer of human nature and could incisively cut at her targets she also clearly perceived her world – that world – to be just perfect, thankyou. She critcised hypocracy, but the framework in which the hypocracy lived was pretty much OK. Everything was as it was supposed to be. It was just unfortunate that a few bad apples crop up. Or maybe it was those few bad apples that demonstrated how swell everything else was in comparison. It might be a claustrophobic and backbiting society, but it is better than anything the wogs have.

In any case, Grame-Smith has managed to preserve this smug self-satisfaction. Probably just by leaving alone the majority of the text. Seth Graeme-Smith’s writing is patchy, not always meshing particuarly well with the original Austin. There are some particualry juvenile scenes of Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer like action that stick out due to the pace and modern use of language. However, there are also some particurly pleasing and evocative passages that do mesh and do transport the reader to this alternate reality. These moments come when the pace is closest to Austin’s own. They are the casual observations when no one is running and screaming. The descriptions of distant horror, or intimate though casual revulsion. Given the distance of time and wildly different writing styles of then and now, Seth has done a creditable job on what I suspect both he and Rekulak thought of as merely a ‘consumable’ book.

And how they must both now be rubbing their hands with surprised satisfaction because the book was released to widesread acclaim and has jumped up the best sellers lists. Apparently it has already been picked up for film. So bully for them.

All of this makes me ask myself what the book has. Popularity, apparently, but since when was popularity a measure of value? It certainly is not junk, despite the katana flaying and brain eating, because the images it has evoked live in my imagination. I am forced to ask myself some hard questions about society in light of the creeping doom. Is that it? Western literature typically depicts the Apocalypse as a whiz-bang fast event. P&P&Z has the collapse taking generations. Over that period of time people adapt, even though their world is shrinking around them. They go on with their petty rivalries and love affairs. It reminds me of the boiling frog anecdote where apocryphally a frog placed in cold water which is then gradually heated will not escape and stay until the water boils it to death.

Have Rekulak and Graeme-Smith managed to create the metaphor for a real Apocalypse? Representing, say, AIDs which contunies to churn along infecting and will in time devastate the world’s population? Or perhaps the global environmental crisis? Year by year things will change almost imperceptably. It doesn’t affect me today, says Joe average, so I don’t care. But one day, generations in the future, the survivors may just be living in a boiling poison swamp. Perhaps they have captured this. And perhaps it is pointless to ask whether that is what they had in mind or whether it is serendipity.

It is tempting to give the book credit with this degree of insight, with creating an arguably new genre of literature. But there is an alternative. That alternative is that this represents cultural vandalism. That our modern culture is so bankrupt that the best we can do is rape the art of the past, and then observers, like me, come along and try to imbue it with more gravity than it deserves.

That is the kind of self-doubt that Austin would approve of. That’s art: evoking something in the receiver because we can never truly understand the motivations of the producer. Some, probably most, readers will skim read Austin till they get to the illustrations in the hope that on that page there will be words that have modern currency. Like blow-job or blood. No chance of the former, but plenty of the latter. Personally I think this is a mistake. Not because I like Austin’s writing: I don’t. But to really take anything away from the work, to extract any meaning at all, you really do have to slow down to the pace of Austin and experience the creeping apocalyptic doom that Graeme-Smith has created.

He may have done it by accident, but he has created a disturbing parody of today – ironic as that may sound. Here we are spending millions on making movies that are nothing more than collections of references to other movies, in watching talk shows where people spill their guts about their most intimate experiences as if this fills their observers with anything other than contempt. Here we are giving voice to nay-sayers to climate change when their only qualification to speak is their ability to make noise with their mouths.

We fiddle while Rome burns, in short. For me, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies evokes this spirit perfectly.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Jane Austin and Seth Graeme-Smith, Quirk Books 2009, ISBN: 978-1-89474-334-4